Seasonal allergies and emergency rooms

This is all true, and you will believe it because it is me and these are things that happen to me.

A few weeks ago, I went to stay with my wonderful cousin Kerilee for general conference weekend. I was super excited to visit with her and Judd and play with their awesome kids.

This is Graham's "Cheese Face"

I took these pictures over conference weekend last April

The day before I left, however, my right eye started to freak out at while I was at work. This is not unusual because I wear contacts and also because my eyes do weird things sometimes. It was red and itchy, so I tried cleaning my contact, which didn’t work, and then I just hoped the problem would go away.

It didn’t. The next morning on my way to Kerilee’s house I thought I was going to die. Both of my eyes were red and watery and the sun felt like fire. I spent that day going back and forth between contacts and glasses and trying to avoid any bright rooms. I was even wearing my sunglasses inside. The next day, when things didn’t get better, I asked my cousin to take me to a doctor, and we found an urgent care nearby that was open on Sundays.

This is how I feel about wearing glasses.

Long story short, the lady at the counter thought I was 16 but they gave me eye drops anyway. The doctor said I had developed a kind of pink eye that you get from allergies. There are three kinds of pink eye, as it turns out, and I have never had any. I have also never had seasonal allergies, so why wouldn’t my body decide to jump to straight to a case of allergy-induced pink eye that I suspect never actually existed before?

I used up those eye drops in a few days, but was feeling much better.

Until last Thursday.

By the time I got home from work on Thursday, my right eye was bothering me again. I hoped that it wouldn’t suddenly get worse like it did before, but I should have known better.

On Friday, after adjusting the brightness on my screen at work and spending as much time as possible editing hard copies of things, I switched to glasses and went across the street to the pharmacy and got some allergy eye drops, hoping they would have the same effect as the ones the urgent care doctor had given me. A few minutes after I put them in, however, my eyes were burning even more and the only relief I could get was from a two-hour nap on the couch in the bathroom of the Church Office Building. When I woke up, I talked to my supervisor who let me take work home that I could do when I could see again.

I somehow survived the drive home and then slept for another three and a half hours. I wasn’t going to let my silly eyes spoil my weekend plans, however, so I woke up, threw some stuff in a bag, and headed to Provo for the next few days. I had a concert to go to, after all.

Even though it was getting dark outside and it was even darker inside, I decided to wear my sunglasses inside so that I wouldn’t look like a pothead. Also, I would rather people think that I think I’m super cool than wonder what the nerd with seasonal allergies is doing at a smoky concert. I was relieved when some of my friends showed up so I wasn’t standing by myself…at a concert…wearing sunglasses.

The rest of the night was a mixture of painful, awkward, and loud, and I practically passed out at my friend’s house when we finally got home. The next morning I knew right away that I needed to go to the doctor again.

This time, it was my friend Carrie who was kind enough to take me to an insta care in Provo. The doctor looked at me sympathetically and said, “I’m sorry. That looks annoying.” Thanks, doc. He gave me some more eye drops (this time with a renewable prescription) but told me that I should probably see an ophthalmologist the next week. If things got any worse, he suggested that I go to the emergency room where they could get a hold of an on-call ophthalmologist to give me something only ophthalmologists can prescribe.

(Try saying ophthalmologist three times fast.)

We stopped at the pharmacy, I put in some more eye drops, and then I slept some more. I have no idea why I was so tired, but it was a nice break from the searing pain in my eyes.

That afternoon, Carrie and I met up with a few more friends to play some board games. They left the lights off and let me sit in front of the window so I didn’t have to squint (as much). I was mostly able to leave my sunglasses off. After a few hours, though, I couldn’t deny the fact that there was still something wrong with my eyes and I needed relief. Even though it felt ridiculous, I decided to go to the ER…for allergies.

Carrie took me straight to the emergency room, where I stared at the floor for almost an hour while I waited to see the doctor. They finally took me back to a room where I sat on a bed for another twenty minutes and tried not listen to everyone else’s terrible but legitimate reasons for being there. Finally a doctor came and told me that he would talk to the ophthalmologist, whom I never actually saw, and get me stronger, antibiotic eye drops. I told him that the lights were giving me a headache, and he said enthusiastically, “I can help with that!” He disappeared and I waited several more minutes on the cold bed.

Cue super good-looking intern. Handsome walks in with an IV and tells me he is going to hook me up. I looked up at him with my squinty, red eyes, and said, like a genius, “An IV? For what?”

“...Aren’t you sick?”

“Well…it’s just my eyes.”

Blink. Blink.

He stepped out then came back in and told me it’s for my headache.

Whatever. Fine. Why not make this a little more ridiculous.

So Charming hooked me up and I made polite yet awkward conversation, pretending I wasn’t aware that I was completely absurd.

“Yeah, I’m in here for allergies.”

“No, I’ve never had them before.”

“I’m just going to look away while you stick that needle and tube in my arm.”

Winning Smile humored me and then left.

I got a phone call from my friend Bryan and tried to explain that even though I had been at the doctor for a significant portion of my day, I was fine. While I’m on the phone, a nurse came in to hook me up to the fluids. She told me that whatever is in there will help my headache and then asked if I was driving myself home. I told her I wasn’t and she said that they were going to give me some Benadryl as well. I thought she meant later, but I found out that she meant intravenously.

As soon as the fluid hit my system the room got brighter, I got dizzy, and my mouth tasted weird. The nurse told me that was normal and then she left. It didn’t feel normal. The phone call got weird, I started to slur, and this is where I don’t remember as much.

At some point the doctor came in. At another I hung up the phone. From there I remember being really cold and really tired. I started to fall asleep and shiver at the same time. I have never felt so weird.

Tall and Tan came back and took my vitals, nurse came back and unhooked me, and doctor gave me a prescription and sent me on my way.

Carrie drove me to the pharmacy and then her apartment where I quickly passed out on the couch. I woke up to eat dinner and then slept for another 12 hours.

I am happy to report that since then, those eye drops have been working marvelously. My eyes are still a tiny bit sensitive to light, but I had a productive day at work and feel like I can go back to wearing contacts tomorrow.

This is especially good because my glasses are the wrong prescription.