Spiders

Why don't my good dreams ever come true?

About two weeks ago I was spending one of my last nights in my old house. I was having this very realistic dream about a spider in my window. It was daytime, my brother was there, and there was a giant spider just living in my window sill (which happened to be right next to my bed). The spider, which I have since named "Creature," was big and hairy and definitely evil (evil is an inherent spider personality trait). Kind of like this:

All of a sudden it lurched forward to attack this other animal that appeared in my windowsill that looked like some sort of rodent. I jumped back, landing on my elbows, in my bed, and suddenly woke up. I was in my room, like in the dream, but it was dark and I was alone. It didn't matter. I was still leaning away from my window, out of breath, half convinced that "Creature" was feasting on a dead animal just a few feet away. I finally calmed down, realized it was a dream, and eventually went back to sleep.

A few days later I moved out of that house into a different one, just a few blocks away. I now have my own room in the basement of a six bedroom house. Awesome, right? It would have been more awesome if I hadn't found several large spiders in various corners of my room the first day I moved in. I tried to kill the first one, but I unsuccessfully squished it into the carpet and just made it mad. Fortunately, my friend Sam was there to save me.

After I found another spider (and the lair it had built behind my desk), I decided to take action. I brought in the vacuum cleaner, detached the hose, and vacuumed every corner in my room. I guess spiders are invincible to vacuums because I found one on my shoe the next day. Now I live in fear and sleep in an uneasy, itchy terror. I have actually been checking the backsides of my pillows to make sure there aren't any killers. It doesn't help that, during my move, my mom was in town, and my family decided it would be fun to tell every single horrible spider story they have ever heard. Ugh.

Then, a few days ago, my dream came true. Sam came over and said, "I don't want to freak you out or anything"--which instantly freaked me out--"but there's a giant spider living in your window."

Creature followed me.

From my old house to my new house. From my dream to reality.

Sam showed me from the inside that it was, in fact, living in my window on the inside of my screen but the outside of the glass. If spiders are invincible to vacuums, do they have magic powers over glass? Probably. They are evil, after all. Also, Creature was huge. Not as big as in my dream, but big enough to reaffirm my assertion that spiders only exist to be scary and turn people into super-humans.

Feeling brave because it was daytime and I was with a boy, we went outside to see what we could do. I stood back and Sam touched the screen to pull it back and get to Creature. Zoom! Creature disappeared into a corner faster than lightning. Big, scary, and fast. We looked for him but he was nowhere to be found. There wasn't even a hole in the direction he disappeared. We put the screen back and there has been no sign of him since. I think he must have absorbed himself into my wall with his evil spider powers. He is just waiting for the right time to come and eat me like the animal he ate in my dream.

Maybe he'll turn me into a super-human.

Or an alien.